Kids are incredibly observant. They soak up everything around them, and sometimes, that means noticing and vocalizing our less-than-perfect habits. If your child has ever called you out on your bad habits, you’re not alone. It can be a humbling, even embarrassing, experience, but it’s also a valuable opportunity for growth and connection.
Why Kids Point Out Our Habits
- Learning by Example: Children learn through modeling. They see what we do and often mirror our behaviors.
- A Sense of Fairness: They have a strong sense of fairness. If they’re told not to do something, they may question why you’re allowed to do it.
- Concern and Love: Sometimes, they point out habits out of genuine concern for your well-being.
- Seeking Attention: In some cases, it could be a way to get your attention or initiate a conversation.
How to Respond Gracefully
- Stay Calm and Listen: Your initial reaction might be defensiveness, but resist the urge to get angry or dismissive. Listen carefully to what your child is saying.
- Acknowledge Their Observation: Don’t try to deny or downplay your habit. Acknowledge that they’re right. For example, “You’re right, I do look at my phone a lot.”
- Explain, Don’t Excuse: Offer a simple, age-appropriate explanation. Avoid making excuses, but you can explain the context. For instance, “I know I have a habit of staying up late. Sometimes, I have to finish work, but I’m trying to get better at that.”
- Be Honest and Vulnerable: It’s okay to admit that you’re not perfect. Share that everyone has habits they’re trying to change.
- Make a Plan Together: Turn it into a teachable moment. Discuss how habits are formed and how they can be changed. You can even make a plan together to work on your habit. “Let’s try to have phone-free dinners,” or “Let’s try to read a book before bed instead of watching TV.”
- Model Positive Change: Actions speak louder than words. If you’re serious about changing your habit, show your child that you’re making an effort.
- Thank Them: Express gratitude to your child for bringing it to your attention. “Thank you for telling me. It helps me to know when I need to make changes.”
- Avoid Shaming: Never shame your child for their honesty. Create an environment where they feel safe to express their observations.
Common Habits Kids Call Out
- Excessive screen time
- Junk food consumption
- Swearing or using negative language
- Procrastination
- Messiness
- Lateness
- Ignoring them due to distractions.
Turning a Negative into a Positive
Your child calling you out on a bad habit can be a powerful catalyst for positive change. It can strengthen your relationship by fostering open communication and mutual respect. By responding with grace and honesty, you can teach your child valuable lessons about self-awareness, personal growth, and the importance of accountability.
